Holidays are stressful.   I battle daily with the issue of control.  Holidays are hard because they involve a change of routine and structure.  I don't always know what is happening next and it unnerves me.  I'm sure that sounds strange to some but if you have ever had your very being shaken to its core or had your ability to control anything stolen from you, you get where I'm coming from.  

This Christmas season has been no different.  I have found myself following "old patterns" of relating to others, of responding to stress and trying to resurrect that old mask that says everything is okay.  Then when things don't go well, I get defensive, I withdraw and ultimately am miserable. (This causes everyone around me to be miserable as well.)

Darkness is a lot safer than light when I feel out of control.  I can hide, I can wallow, I can be the old me. But, in  the very early and dark hours of this morning (like 3am!) I felt God nudge me to spend time in His word.  This wasn't something I wanted to do since God's word would shed light into my "safe" darkness.  Reluctantly I obeyed.  

I turned in my Bible to Luke.  This seemed logical since it is almost Christmas.  As I read the familiar story, I tried to imagine what Mary must have felt.  She was so young.  She had lost all control over her circumstances and yet she obeyed.  She gave birth in the darkness of a stable. She could have stayed in that darkness, but the greatest gift ever given would have been lost if she had.  

Thank goodness that we don't have to stay in the darkness and be miserable!  Light destroys darkness and reveals truth and a full life.   A life filled with Christ.  A life filled to overflowing with love, grace and mercy.  There will be times when living in the light is uncomfortable but it beats fumbling around in the darkness!  We each have a gift that can't be shut away in the darkness but must be shared in the light. 

God's love for us is so great that He can't be hidden if we truly believe His promises to us.  He shines in and through us. Take a look at Luke 1 and 2 and see for yourself how darkness was overcome by a courageous woman and the birth of her baby.  

Merry Christmas!